Do it even if you don’t feel like it
Today is Thursday. I have made a commitment to show up with a self portrait each Thursday. I am tired and cranky and feeling pretty low for no reason I can specify. But lately I have been taking my commitments and my word more seriously. So here is my Across the Room Self Portrait.
This photo was taken last week. I had told Trey we would go to the park before music class. I had some things I needed to do that took up some of the precious time I had thought would work for a walk. It would have been easy to cancel the plan. I chose not to. I chose to drive to the neighborhood park and run through the woods with Trey like I said I would.
I was wearing black and brown that day. Brown knee highs and my black boots. I had promised Trey on our last walk that I would wear my sneakers next time so we could have races. I had a moment of irritation that I didn’t have time to take off my socks and find other ones.
I chose to keep my word and put on my sneakers with the brown knee highs and not care what anyone at the park would think.
I have been having moments where I feel I could capture an across the room moment in our day, but then it feels too complicated. I don’t know the best way to set it up, I can’t figure out how to do it. I have chosen not to take the photo of me at the acupuncturist (where would I put the camera- wouldn’t she think I was strange…), or the one of me working out in the basement (That means I would have to have on decent workout gear right…and what about the disheveled basement…). All of this is about being self conscious and worrying what others think either in the moment or when they see the photograph.
So despite the socks and not knowing how to set it up, I decided to bring my camera and remote anyway. I would just give it a try and not care if it came out nicely….and so what if I was wearing brown knee highs with my dorky sneakers. The point of this project is to capture moments of our everyday…to keep a visual journal of how things really are. At least that is what it is turning into being about…
I didn’t want to redirect the focus of our quick visit to the park to taking pictures. I see I can do that. Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to capture the moment I am no longer in the moment. So I decided I would give it a 10 second try and that was it. I put my camera on the ground as we arrived at the park and then we took off. I captured Trey but missed me because I am still learning how far the range of my remote is.
When we reached the top of the hill and started down the first trail I set my camera down and gave it 10 seconds and captured the first image above and then at the bottom of the hill I put the camera on the bench and got this one:
It’s all about showing up. What does showing up look like for you?